The morning after the diagnosis, I woke way earlier than I should have for a Saturday morning. My first thought upon awakening was "I have breast cancer." Quite a sobering thought for 5:30 in the morning. I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget about it for a while longer. Not in the cards so I prayed. When I did get up, my day moved at a rapid pace.
Help Brad with printing contracts and routes for his busy day with Bounceroo; send him off; start laundry; tidy up; do dishes; clean the hair out of the vacuum roller - must stay on top of that; flip laundry; don't stop; don't think; keep busy. I think I did more in the house in 2 hours than I have in 2 years.
Get ready; pick Autumn up for the play at the St. Albert Childrens' Fesitval; see Raf from work and his family; Dave's (from work) kids do a good job; see Tamara from work; she knows; hugs; anything you need; Oksana (from work) called twice; I'll call her back later; toodle around with Autumn; have fun; forget for the most part; drop her off; tell Chantal; will it get easier; hugs. Go to a movie; keep busy; keep brain occupied; thoughts intrude; not now - watching movie; movie over; want to go home but can't yet; just want to go home; overwhelmed; tears. Must keep busy! Visit Mom and Dad D; Rachele calls; shock; tears; vows to do anything for me. I love that girl's fierceness and loyalty.
Go home; more laundry; April comes home. Do your boobs hurt? No. You gonna sign a DNR? Huh? What? Ummm... Hadn't thought that far. She's been watching Grey's Anatomy. Izzie is dying of cancer and signed a DNR. Her friends revived her. I assure her that I don't think it will come to that for a very long time.
Watch The Voice; fold laundry; not enjoying The Voice tonight; weird cause I always like The Voice; especially Blake; must be cause life is different now; Brad is home; want to talk; not talk; snuggle; emotions swinging like a barn door in a stiff breeze; mad; annoyed; sad; tears; ugh; exhausted.
Can't find my orange sticky note. I found it while cleaning out a closet the other day. The verse on it is perfect. Rachele is going to memorize it too. Where did it go?! Search and search. Panic might set in. It's important. I need to find it!! Can't have disappeared. Brad searches too to easy my panic. Can't find it. Sad.
Snuggle. Pray. Exhausted. Sleep. Hard.
Day #1 of my new life is under my belt. I stayed busy - mentally, emotionally and physically.
I can do this...