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The morning after the diagnosis, I woke way earlier than I should have for a Saturday morning.  My first thought upon awakening was "I have breast cancer."  Quite a sobering thought for 5:30 in the morning.  I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget about it for a while longer.  Not in the cards so I prayed.  When I did get up, my day moved at a rapid pace. 

 

Help Brad with printing contracts and routes for his busy day with Bounceroo; send him off; start laundry; tidy up; do dishes; clean the hair out of the vacuum roller - must stay on top of that; flip laundry; don't stop; don't think; keep busy. I think I did more in the house in 2 hours than I have in 2 years. 

 

Get ready; pick Autumn up for the play at the St. Albert Childrens' Fesitval; see Raf from work and his family; Dave's (from work) kids do a good job; see Tamara from work; she knows; hugs; anything you need; Oksana (from work)  called twice; I'll call her back later; toodle around with Autumn; have fun; forget for the most part; drop her off; tell Chantal; will it get easier; hugs.  Go to a movie; keep busy; keep brain occupied; thoughts intrude; not now - watching movie; movie over; want to go home but can't yet; just want to go home; overwhelmed; tears. Must keep busy!  Visit Mom and Dad D; Rachele calls; shock; tears; vows to do anything for me.  I love that girl's fierceness and loyalty.

 

Go home; more laundry; April comes home. Do your boobs hurt?  No.  You gonna sign a DNR?  Huh? What?  Ummm...  Hadn't thought that far.  She's been watching Grey's Anatomy.  Izzie is dying of cancer and signed a DNR.  Her friends revived her.  I assure her that I don't think it will come to that for a very long time.

 

Watch The Voice; fold laundry; not enjoying The Voice tonight; weird cause I always like The Voice; especially Blake; must be cause life is different now; Brad is home; want to talk; not talk; snuggle; emotions swinging like a barn door in a stiff breeze; mad; annoyed; sad; tears; ugh; exhausted.

 

Can't find my orange sticky note.  I found it while cleaning out a closet the other day.  The verse on it is perfect.  Rachele is going to memorize it too.  Where did it go?!  Search and search.  Panic might set in.  It's important.  I need to find it!!  Can't have disappeared.  Brad searches too to easy my panic.  Can't find it. Sad.

 

Snuggle.  Pray.  Exhausted.  Sleep.  Hard.

 

Day #1 of my new life is under my belt.  I stayed busy - mentally, emotionally and physically. 

 

I can do this...    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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